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musicfreak

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class of 2007 [25 May 2007|11:19pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]

Well hello journal

recently you have been replaced by an old school paper journal... but no more! This summer I have time to waste sitting in front of a computer screen.

In less than 48 hours I will OFFICIALLY be done with high school. I never have to set foot in brandon high school ever again in my life... thank GOD. I am so sick of high school drama. last friday I had to sit and listen to two girls bitch each other out because one of them wasn't in the others top 8... I almost smacked someone.

Speaking of high school drama, my senior lock-in was last night. Sounds lame but I actually had a blast. When I was on my way to the school it hit me that it was the last time I would actually hang out with a large majority of the people there. and that scared me a lot. For the past two years I have been trying to get comfortable and get settled, and now that I am, it's over. But anyway, the lock in. There was a fortune teller, a massage therapist, a magician, an avon lady that did our make up, a texas hold-em tournament, a blow up obstacal course/slide/boxing ring, a DJ, a person who draws caricatures (caricaturist?), the pool was open, and there was a ton and a half of games. It was sooo much fun. I won a $25 gift certificate to BORDERS :) at 5 in the morning when we were all ready to go home they played our senior song (waiting on the world to change... what a horrible song) but we all cried our eyes out. I am going to miss everyone.

I guess that's enough gushy stuff, I have been waiting for this weekend for four years I should live it up.

One thing I didn't know four years ago is that after graduation I would be going to see FALL OUT BOY. with my 4 greatest friends EVER. YAY LAWN SEATS!

it's supposed to storm but... who cares?! I get to see fall out boy, get my diploma, and hang out with kristin and jenny on the same day. It can rain all it wants to! (just dont wear a white tshirt;)

I feel like everything is perfect, I am completely worry free and it's the most amazing feeling in the world. I know it won't last long because I am leaving for college in a few months, but for now... at least for a week or two, I have no obligations, nothing to stress about, no one to please, I get to completely relax and hang out with whoever. It's been a really long time since I could say that. So that means everyone and anyone who wants to hang out (get some coffee, go to BORDERS to spend my gift card, walk to a certain golf course) CALL ME!!!!!!

That's all I got for now. I think I hear Dane Cook coming from the other room:)

peace and love forever
~jILL dOCTER

Comments: This aint where it's at.

[02 Mar 2007|12:54am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

uuuuuugggggg

that is all

Comments: This aint where it's at.

ZE [23 Feb 2007|11:55pm]
to those of you who are bored

I give you zefrank.com

games/cool toys/ amazing photographs

check out the pictures under his latest blog (feb. 22)
amazing

and if you're REALLY bored check out the show

because it's hilarious
Comments: This aint where it's at.

[24 Jan 2007|08:31pm]
well

the second weekend I've been preparing for

has arrived

I leave for Grand Rapids tomarrow

for 3 days of constant singing

what did I get myself into?

State Honors Choir

here I come.
Comments: This aint where it's at.

yes! it is all about me:) [20 Jan 2007|07:47pm]
This post is not deep or meaningful or poetic in any way.
(not that any of mine ever are:)

I just want everyone to know
(because I'm conceded and selfish)

that after weeks of constant rehearsal, singing, and memorizing music

I FINALLY got strait ones at solo and ensemble

go me
Comments: 7 friends will second that~ This aint where it's at.

[15 Jan 2007|11:35am]
the first snow day of the year
it's not really a snow day
more like an ice day but
no school none-the less

for the past few weeks I have immersed myself in school.
I have not seen any of my friends outside of school.
I spend most of my days shut up in my room, burning incense, listening to brand new/my chem and doing homework. My grades have gone back up. If I do well on all my finals this week I can get all A's, which is a relief.

I visited Grand Valley last week. My mom and I took a tour and talked to a counselor. It is absolutely beautiful there. I am almost positive that I will be going there next year. My dad wants me to stay home next year. (big surprise) he even offered to buy me a new car if I do stay home. I decided that it's not worth it. I have some money saved up, and if I get a job on campus next year I can save up enough for a car.

My new year's resolution to quit smoking failed about 45 minutes after midnight January first. But I have not had a cigarette in almost 2 weeks now. I've also stopped doing other stupid things. and I really feel good. which is a change, for me.

I'm not going to lie. I feel like I've screwed myself out of my senior year. Between crashing my car, taking 3 AP classes, and completely losing my parents trust, I have almost guaranteed myself a no-fun second semester.
But what can you do? If I have learned nothing else in my Lit class I have learned to seize the day. Carpe diem. live like there is no tomorrow.
I want to isolate myself in the woods like Thoreau
or move to Paris like Hemingway.
but my choices are somewhat limited

le sigh
I miss everyone
I hope you are having more fun than me
keep in touch.

love Jill
Comments: 3 friends will second that~ This aint where it's at.

BRAND NEW [10 Jan 2007|10:11pm]
Did i ever tell anyone that I love a kristi?!

CUZ I DO!!!

THANK YOU!!!
Comments: This aint where it's at.

Fantasia [30 Dec 2006|02:31pm]
It's ride the fire eagle danger day!

"The film did not turn a profit until its 1969 re-release. By then, Fantasia had become immensely popular among teenagers and college students, many of whom would take illegal drugs such as marijuana and LSD to "better experience" the film. Disney therefore promoted the film as a "trip-film" for its 1969 re-release, even creating a psychedelic-styled poster to match this campaign. The re-release was a major success, especially with the psychedelic young adult crowd, many of whom would come lie down in the front row of the theater and experience the film from there."

I wish I had lived in the 60's

I swear I was born in the wrong era.
Comments: This aint where it's at.

ze [20 Dec 2006|07:33pm]
http://www.zefrank.com/theshow/archives/2006/12/122006.html

christmas!
Comments: This aint where it's at.

ze [19 Dec 2006|07:40pm]
[ mood | guilty ]

A 5 mile run?! who signed up for that?

that was healthy me... you didn't get the memo?

Restless me doesn't sleep very well

but she can read like a mother fucker

yelling at her won't make her sleep any faster.

Comments: This aint where it's at.

[05 Dec 2006|11:52pm]
so guess who totaled her car?
ill give you a hint...
it's not you.

FUCKity fuck fuck

that is me being pissed at people running red lights
and smashing into cars
that happen to be mine

actually
that person was me
who ran the red light... but that is not the point

I'm PISSED is the point
I fucked up me knee
and now I don't have a car
and *whine*
I just want my mommy to hold my hand and tell me that it's ok
that she'll just get me a new car like it never happened
(hey... i can dream)

but there is a plus side
I made state honors choir on saturday
and I got a (kind of)lead role in GUYS AND DOLLS
and Cheeky Monkeys FINALLY opened
and my dad might get a new car... which means I get his POS truck... which is better than nothing.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm not very good at growing up... I keep saying that all I want is freedom... but really... I couldn't handle a car accident by myself. I need my parents more than I give them credit for. I could say that to them... but I won't. cuz I'm a brat.

le sigh

love to you :)
Comments: 3 friends will second that~ This aint where it's at.

[20 Nov 2006|09:53pm]
my life is a series
of unfamiliar faces
desires
disappointments
and magic eye puzzles

I sleep little and eat less.
but I'm happy
and that's what is important... right?
in the long run... it's all you have.
I don't regret anything.
but I have learned from my mistakes.
I'm not sure what to do now... except to just keep going.
so that's what I'll do
one day at a time.
I'll just keep going.
thank you



ps
go see Stranger Than Fiction
it is a Will Ferrel Movie that you will NOT regret spending $6.50 on.
Comments: This aint where it's at.

[25 Sep 2006|06:15pm]
I know I'm a little late

because everyone and their mom listens to them

but it's just one of those songs

that you
can't
stop
listening to

modern swinger
pink spiders
Comments: This aint where it's at.

[19 Sep 2006|05:17pm]
People are offended so easily

maybe I'm just laid back because I'm used to being offended.

whatever

if I just said FUCK YOU
to everyone
and disappeared
that would make me happy
and life would be good
I could start over

but people would still piss me off

then one day I would speak my mind
and offend someone

and I would have to dissapear again

so it's not worth it

I'll just keep my mouth shut

and if that offends you...

then FUCK YOU
Comments: This aint where it's at.

[16 Sep 2006|10:24pm]
Oh why couldn't someone else draw the short straw?

My grandma moves back to Michigan for the first time in almost 12 years... and she picks a house 5 minutes away from me she has 4 children spread out across the state and she picks us.

Dinner tonight was brutal. I have the most retarted family there ever was.

no offence amanda... ur mom is a psyco... she tucked her blue michigan sweatpants into her bright yellow michigan socks... with green slippers...

then she gave her "jill... you are so good to your family" speech. which happens every single time i see her.

grandma bitched about... everything... for a full 5 hours. she started drinking before we even got there.

Megan gave me her "I'm going to treat you like a child even though you are a senior and I'm not your mom" bullshit


But I guess no one really likes their family... right?

*sigh*

goodnight everyone
Comments: 1 friend will second that~ This aint where it's at.

[13 Sep 2006|06:25am]
I had a dream last night

I found out exactly when I was going to die but not how... so instead of waiting around, I walked to the cemetary and I slit my wrists open with a razor blade. I watched as one by one my mom, my dad, my dog, my brother, my grandma, my friends, all found me lying in the cemetary under a giant stone angel dying and didn't do a thing. I wanted to scream "care about me! miss me!" but I couldn't and no one did.

why do I need attention so much?
Comments: This aint where it's at.

[07 Sep 2006|10:35pm]
AP CALC is kicking my ass... and it's only 3 days in.

getting up at 6 is kicking my ass... and it's only 3 days in.

I want to curl up in a ball and sleep untill next summer.
This is not how I pictured my senior year.

Rant about parentsCollapse )
Comments: 3 friends will second that~ This aint where it's at.

[19 Aug 2006|01:52am]
today i was told that I was like a character from a children's story. i asked him to write a book about me and he said he would. he said i was the bright spot that makes him feel better when his friends are drunk and pissing him off.

i need to get away
i need to figure out what i want

i want my life to be a children's book. then i could talk to trees and have heart to hearts with the bumble bees. i could eat dirt and play in the rain. I could exist without feeling guilty, without this constant need for acceptance and love.

i could just be
Comments: 1 friend will second that~ This aint where it's at.

[20 Jul 2006|02:03am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

AAAAAAAHHHHri thanos next Friday at the local!

(that was exactly how it came out of my mouth as I read it... except much louder and more squished together)

new cd! They haven't been there in forever! Actually no one has been at the local in forever because... why? does anyone know?

I'm not sure why I'm so excited, I see them all the time and I see john just about everyday. And I have most of their new stuff from holly. So I really have no idea why I freaked out... But I'm excited anyway. Who is gonna go with me? I too ascared to go into the local all alone. those kids are intimidating... im such a wimp.

Oh and um... i don't know if I mentioned this before but uuuh....

BRAND NEW TOMARROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(let's say we go and crash your car)

I'm so spoiled and I loooove it.

So I just had a big massive mood swing from my post this morning to now... I think im crazy... mentally. (as opposed to physicaly crazy, yes)

I think I'll just drink a lot less coffee
and never ever watch the ten o'clock news
I'll kiss someone nice...
or lick a rock... or both!

Comments: 2 friends will second that~ This aint where it's at.

[19 Jul 2006|09:58am]
[ mood | indescribable ]

I am not deep
I am not creative
I am not intelligent
I am not witty

I am not graceful
I am not skinny
I am not pretty
I am not fasionable

I am not innocent
I am not honest


I am not depressed
I am not fake
I am not who I want to be, but
I am exactly who I am

Comments: 1 friend will second that~ This aint where it's at.

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